The Death of Lexie and Rose
by alygator86
Summary: A parody in which I kill Rose and Lexie because I don't like either of them.
1. Lethal paintballs

Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's I wouldn't be writing this.

Rating: K…ish

Summary: A parody in which I kill Rose and Lexie because I don't like either of them.

Lexie and Rose were walking into the hospital together; no one knows why an intern and a scrub nurse would be going to work together but whatever. Anyway, they were walking to the hospital when all of a sudden they were shot by lethal paintball guns.

Meredith saw them fall to the ground and looked around. "Well crap," she said, "I guess I should go get some help."

Meredith walked into the hospital and saw Cristina.  
"Hey Cristina. Can you help me?"  
"With what?" Cristina asked.  
"Oh, Lexie and Rose were both shot by lethal paintballs and I think maybe we should help them," Meredith explained.  
"Oh. I guess so."

They gathered up Izzie, George and Alex and twenty minutes later, went outside. Despite the Hippocratic oath no one really wanted to save Lexie or Rose.  
"Lexie is annoying and Rose is just...well she's trying to steal McDreamy," Izzie explained, "So...maybe the world will be a better place with out them."

"Smarter, too," Cristina added.

Derek had noticed the doctors gathered outside and went to see what was going on.  
"What's going on?" he asked.  
"Nothing, really," Cristina replied.  
"Lexie and Rose died," Meredith told him. She had called their deaths just a few seconds ago. "And I'm hungry."  
"How did they die?" he asked.  
"Lethal paintball guns," George nodded.

"They make those?" Derek asked.  
"Obviously," said Cristina.  
"Hmm."  
Alex looked around, "What do we want to do now?"  
"Well Meredith said she's hungry and now that Rose is gone I have no reason to date anyone else because the writers are on strike and can't make up anyone else," Derek told them, "So I think I'll get something to eat with Meredith."

"Then I could work on my issues more," Meredith said.  
"I want to get in on Hahn's surgery and with one less intern to watch over that makes my life easier," Cristina pointed out and went back inside.  
The rest of the doctors made their way back into the hospital.  
"Do you think we should call, like, the morgue or something?" Izzie asked.  
Alex shrugged, "We can do it later."

Ta daaaaaa!! And if you like this idea, review!!


	2. Attack of Rabid 'shippers

I got so many reviews for the last chapter that I decided to make up another way to kill them.

Lexie and Rose were leaving work one night, coincidentally together, and all of the sudden rabid 'shippers attacked them.

"You can't date McDreamy you stupid scrub nurse!" one of them shouted, "He belongs to Meredith!"

"And you are an evil sister!" someone else shouted at Lexie, "Plus Alex belongs with Ava even if she is married and her name isn't really Ava."

"Wait…what?" Lexie asked.

The rabid 'shippers groaned.

"What the heck is going on?" Rose asked. "Derek can date whoever he wants."

"Um…no. Ok well sure but he's in love with Meredith so good luck actually having him," the head rabid 'shipper said.

"Well he already asked me out," Rose replied.

The rabid 'shippers laughed, "That means nothing to us. We have ways of getting rid of you. Both of you."

"Where are we going?" Lexie asked.

One of the rabid 'shippers stepped up and looked at Lexie then spoke slowly "We're going to take you to see the squirrels."

"Oh boy! I love squirrels. I could draw one on my etch-a-sketch."

Rose looked at her surprised, "Can you really?"

"Oh yeah, I'm crazy good at it."

While the unwanted characters were distracted the rabid 'shippers grabbed them and stuffed them into a bus because a van was too small to hold everyone. The rabid 'shippers took them to a remote, deserted ferry boat filled with their squirrel friends who were going to take care of the problem.

Meanwhile, at Derek's trailer, Derek and Meredith had just finished a round of S&M and Derek suddenly felt smarter.

"Hmm."

"What?" Meredith asked.

"I no longer feel the need to date anyone else. Its weird. And good. That was a stupid idea."

"I agree."

And they lived happily ever after.


	3. Addison and Meredith ninjas

This one is for addisonkarev because she has been a great reviewer and loves Addex. Thanks for the reviews everyone!

-----------------------

Addison met Meredith in the locker room.

"I'm glad you called me," Addison said.

"No problem," Meredith replied, "We have to get rid of them somehow."

Addison nodded, "And men are stupid so we can't completely blame Derek or Alex."

"I agree."

Once Addison and Meredith had changed into all black, they snuck around the hospital, sort of like ninjas until they found Lexie and Rose in an empty OR. Alex and Derek were tied up in chairs.

"Let them go!" Meredith ordered.

"Never!" Rose yelled back.

"Oh come on!" complained Addison, "Do we have to fight you?"

Lexie pulled out her evil trombone and lifted it to play.

"Stop her! Its mind control!" Addison exclaimed.

Meredith did a couple ninja-like flips and got the musical instrument away from Lexie then spun around, hitting Rose with it, knocking her out.

Lexie ran and jumped, her leg out, ready to kick Addison who smartly stepped out of the way. Lexie kept moving through the air, straight into a random bed of nails that was being stored in the OR.

Once Lexie and Rose were defeated, Addison and Meredith went and untied Alex and Derek respectively.

"I'm sorry," Derek told Meredith, "It was Lexie and her evil trombone. I never wanted to date Rose."

"Its ok," Meredith replied.

"Same here, Addison," Alex told her, "Lexie is crazy. I want to be with you!!"

"Come with me to LA!" Addison suggested.

"Ok!" And they went back to LA while Derek and Meredith kept with their S&M until Meredith was ready for more.

-------------------------

Let me know if there's any other ways you'd like to see them killed I have about 4 more chapters.


	4. Poisoned!

Mcdreamyslover wanted to see Rose poisoned. Well here is her wish.

------------------------

Meredith was skipping merrily down the halls. Yes, I know that seems a little weird but just go with it. Anyway she was skipping and merry and she carried a basket and she was searching for Rose. Finally she saw Rose on the walkway in front of the big window. Meredith skipped right up to Rose.

"Hi Rose!"

"Um, hi, Dr. Grey. How are you?" Rose asked.

"I'm good, how are you?" she replied.

"I'm fine."

"Good," Meredith smiled, "Well I just wanted to give you this."

Meredith reached into the basket and pulled out a blueberry muffin and handed it to Rose.

Rose took it, "Thank you Dr. Grey," and she took a bite.

"You're welcome," Meredith smiled.

Rose took another bite and continued on her way. She got just three steps and fell to the ground dead. The blueberry muffin was poisoned!

Meredith smiled rather evilly and continued skipping.

"That will teach you to try and take my McDreamy."

-----------------------

Blueberry muffins seem so harmless, who would think they'd be poisoned?? hehehe


	5. Apples

I just had to.

----------------

Apples. Apples had been stalking Lexie all day. Lexie hated apples more than anything. It was pretty weird. That might b why the apples seemed to be stalking her. Wherever she went, she saw apples. She didn't mention it to anyone, though, in case they couldn't see the apples.

Lexie was at her wits end when she ran into Rose. But she didn't see Rose. She saw a giant apple. She grabbed the scalpel she had up her sleeve and stabbed the giant apple, making sure it was dead. Once Rose/the giant fake apple was dead, people ran over to restrain Lexie who was mumbling about evil apples.

"Who would have thought that the hospital's new annual apple day would make someone that angry?" one of the people asked.

Lexie was taken to the psych ward and there she stayed with an etch-a-sketch drawing and mumbling about apples.

---------------

OMG I'm sooo mad at Derek for talking to Rose.


	6. Death by Grant

My philosophy teacher is a really nice guy but seriously he can be really boring – especially when class is an hour and 45 minutes long. Well my friend in class with me suggested death by Grant. Here it is.

----------------------

Lexie and Rose awoke in a classroom. At the front of the room was my philosophy teacher, Grant.

"Where are we?" Lexie asked.

"Today we're going to go over Nietzsche," Grant said.

"Nietzsche?"

"He believes humans are make up of two components, alright, the body, alright, and the soul. The body is animal-like, alright, it has immediate, alright, sensuous passion and, alright, reason must control passion. And, alright, the soul ummm is reason, alright, self-control and value, alright."

"What?" Rose asked.

"Why are we – how did we get here?" Lexie questioned.

"Plato believes that we all have sould, alright, and our soul, alright, some how loses it wings that keep it up in the heavens, alright, and it falls into a body."

"Oook."

An hour later

"Who is Grant?" he asked as an example, "Grant is a thirty something, slightly balding, divorcee, Canadian with a lazy cat, Sheldon."

Another hour goes by.

Grant finished reading a passage from Nietzsche.

"What's he getting at here? It's about blinking, alright, nothing really matters to them."

Both Lexie and Rose suddenly died of boredom. Yes, Grant had finally bored people to death.


	7. Sharks, Harry Potter and Butterflies

Thanks to Kait for this idea!!

--------------------

Lexie and Rose, being hated by all were thrown – I mean they fell off the ferry boat. They were swimming across the harbor when all of the sudden, two rogue sharks attacked and ate them.

They sharks started swimming back to where they came from but on the way, they felt very sick and threw up their meals. It just so happened that Harry Potter was passing overhead. He flew down, did a little magic, and put them back together then flew them safely to a butterfly house.

"What a crazy day," Rose said.

"I know!" agreed Lexie.

No one knows this but butterflies will eat people. But only after they have been eaten by sharks, thrown up and put back together by magic. It has to be those exact parameters which is why no one is aware of this fact. Well, those butterflies in the butterfly house fluttered their way to Lexie and Rose and ate them. In eating them they fixed the horrible mistake Harry made and made everyone happy!


	8. Falling and a Rusty Scalpel

Rose wasn't the scrub nurse for Derek's surgery today so she spent free time in the gallery during his surgery drooling over him. She stood, face pressed against the glass when all of the sudden it broke and she fell into the operating room below. She would have been fine except she fell on her head. She has a very big head, you see. And she had eaten a lot of licorice earlier and it was all stuck in her teeth making her more top heavy because it does that – be careful.

Derek, and everyone else, looked over at the disturbance.

"Crap. We're not sterile anymore," Derek groaned.

"Oh! Oh!!" Lexie raised her hand, "I could draw this on the etch-a-sketch for the police!!"

Derek raised an eyebrow but the person next to Lexie grabbed a rusty scalpel and stabbed her with it.

Later she died from lock jaw even though she worked in a hospital.

------------------------

Two requests in one!! Falling from the gallery from MerDerAddicted's niece and the rusty scalpel from Megan Nicole.


	9. An Ambulance and A Helicopter

My friend Emily wanted to see Lexie run over by an ambulance.

-----------------------

Lexie was in the pit and saw something small sitting by the door. She went over, bent down and picked it up.

"Ooh a piece of candy."

She saw a small trail going outside and she picked up each one, every time saying "Ooh a piece of candy."

Once outside she stood in the middle of the ambulance bay looking around trying to see if there was anymore candy when all of the sudden an ambulance raced in and ran over Lexie. She died and sort of deflated like the Wicked Witch of the East in the Wizard of Oz.

In another part of the ambulance bay Rose was standing out in the open of no reason, really. There was a really strong wind while the helicopter was all alone on the roof and it got pushed off. Rose heard a noise and looked up, seeing the helicopter about to fall down on her.

"Oops."

"An ambulance running over Lexie and a helicopter falling on Rose all on the same day," Meredith said to herself, "Today is my lucky day."

------------------------

The helicopter part I took from ER when Dr. Romano was killed. If any of you have watched Potter Puppet Pals on youtube…that's where the "Today is my lucky day" came from lol.

I'm starting my last week of classes then next week I have finals so I'll work on posting and writing when I'm not keeping my head from exploding. I have philosophy tomorrow so I'll probably get a lot of writing done lol.


	10. Sydney finally cracks

By request of charmed4eva112

So sorry it took so long to post another chapter. Thankfully I have finals this week so after that I will have more time.

------------------------------

Sydney had finally snapped. Of course, everyone thought that she already had snapped since she was all heal with love and crazy happy all the time but apparently that was normal Sydney.

Snapped Sydney actually turned out to be quite messy. She came into work with a chainsaw. At first no one really knew what was going on. Why did Sydney have a chainsaw? Maybe it was to cut up all that bacon she brings to the table. But then she caught Lexie and Rose in an OR alone. Rose was prepping for the next surgery and Lexie ran in there to hide from Sydney.

"Hello, Dr. Grey," Rose greeted, setting up for the next surgery.

"Um, hi."

That was as far as they got before Sydney burst in, chainsaw roaring. She was laughing manically and raised the chainsaw above her head.

"Yeah, I was going to warn you about that," Lexie told a perplexed looking Rose.

"Oh," Was the last thing Rose said before the screaming and running and Sydney giggling.

---

"So Sydney just…cut them all up?" Alex asked.

Cristina smiled, "All the blood. It's amazing. Messy but amazing."

"What happened to Sydney?" asked Derek.

"I heard she choked on some bacon she had in her pocket that she ate when she was done," Meredith replied.

"Hmmm," Derek nodded.

"Well, let's go to Joes," Cristina told them.

And they all did.


	11. Revenge of the Licorice

Finals are done and I'm waiting for my grades. I really, really, really want Rose to die. Seriously lol

----------------------------------------------

Rose, for some reason, was hanging out with our friendly, regular doctors and eating her licorice. Alex, Meredith, Cristina, Derek and Izzie were laughing and Rose began laughing too, accidentally inhaling a piece of the nasty black licorice. She began choking and gesturing.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked.

Rose gestured to her throat.

"Oh my god! We're playing charades!" Izzie exclaimed jumping up and down.

Rose pointed to her mouth emphatically.

"Tongue!" Meredith guessed, "You want to get your tongue pierced!"

Rose put her hands on her throat as the sign of choking.

"You want to strangle someone," Cristina tried.

Rose waved around the rest of her licorice whip.

"You need more licorice?" asked Alex.

Rose gave them all the finger then fell down dead from asphyxiation.

"Oh," Derek replied, "She was choking."

"I was never going to get that one," Izzie said, "She's bad at charades."

Meredith turned to Derek, "Lets go to your trailer."

"Alright," He smiled and took her hand, leaving the group and dead Rose.

"I'm going to Joe's," Cristina announced, "Who's coming with me?"

Alex and Izzie both said they'd join her and they left Rose in the middle of the hallway because no one likes Rose and they all had better things to do.

------------------------------------------------

That was for DinuDinuDinu


	12. Throwing Scalpels

Bwehehehehe

--------------------

Derek and Meredith were in surgery together, Derek walking Meredith through clipping and aneurism by herself. Rose was the scrub nurse in the surgery and she kept making eyes at Derek.

After 20 minutes of this, Meredith was fed up. She asked for scalpel and when it was given to her, she looked up, aimed at Rose and threw it into Rose's head. Rose fell down dead and Meredith turned her attention back to the patient in front of her.

"Good job, Dr. Grey," Derek told her.

"Thank you," she replied, continuing with the surgery.


	13. In Which I Get Rid of Finn Too

Thanks again everyone for the reviews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn was sleeping peacefully when he was picked up and dropped into a room with Lexie and Rose. Lexie saw him fall into the room and looked up.

"How did that happen?"

Finn looked around taking in his surroundings. "I have no idea."

"Hi, I'm Rose. I'm trying to date Derek," Rose told him.

"Nice to meet you, Rose," Finn replied, "I'm Finn and I used to date Meredith."

"Oh really?" asked Lexie, "I'm Meredith's half-sister, Lexie."

"Good to meet you, Lexie," said Finn.

Derek and Meredith were dropped into the room as well and got to look around, stunned before…

"Finn killed his wife," a mysterious voice said.

Finn looked around, "I did not!"

"Your wife died?" asked Lexie.

He nodded.

"Because he killed her!" the voice said again.

"That's not true! She died in a car accident."

"I'm sorry," Rose told him.

The voice seemed to ignore them, "He killed his wife and those plans he had for Meredith? He was going to kill her too!"

"How did you know that?!" he raged at the ceiling.

Meredith looked at Finn, disbelieving, and moved closer to Derek.

"I know all," replied the voice, "Like Rose's ex-fiancée isn't like she told Derek. He was a great guy and the feeling to break up was mutual. Rose just made her ex sound like Meredith to tell Derek what he wanted to hear so he would like her more."

"What?" Derek asked, kinda mad.

"It's true," Rose pouted.

Lexie looked up, "What about me?"

"Umm, you're just annoying."

"Well that's true," agreed Meredith.

"What's going to happen now?" asked Finn.

"I'm glad you asked," the voice replied with a smile, "Finn and Rose are going to die because I hate you both and Meredith and Derek have to be together. Lexie…I'm sending you to an island."

Meredith smiled, "I don't mind that."

Derek looked at her, "Neither do I."

And then Finn and Rose fell down dead and Lexie disappeared. Meredith and Derek saw this before being returned to the trailer to work on their happily ever after.

-----------------------------

Someone suggested this….I can't remember who right now but great idea, dude!!


	14. Bathroom Fairy

A little back story. I've written a couple fics for other fandoms using my Bathroom Fairy who grants wishes in the bathroom. Weird, I know but amusing. Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith was in the bathroom getting ready for work when a small funny looking man with wings appeared, hovering in the air.

"What – who are you?" Meredith asked, ready to throw her hair brush at him.

"I am the bathroom fairy. I am here to grand you three wishes."

"What if I just want one?"

-------------

Rose just got home, closed the door and tossed her keys on the table. She went into er room and saw a man with horns and wearing red sitting on her bed.

"Hello," he greeted, "I'm Satan."

Rose was so startled she couldn't say anything.

He picked up his notebook. "My good from, Bathroom Fairy, said there was a wish made to killed you involving a wax dummy," the dummy appeared in the room, "a hula skirt," which appeared on Rose, "And five leprechauns," who started jumping on the bed.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"I don't ask why, I just do it, lady. Now dance with the wax dummy so my Irish friends can kill ya."

------------

The next day, the Bathroom Fairy and Satan were having coffee together.

"I have to say, it took a while for that one to die," Satan said, "But the combination was amusing."

"My wisher was very creative and she's happy now too. I wonder who that woman you wacked was to her."

"Ehh, probably stole her boyfriend."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wanted to let you all know that I'm going to Australia the 27th to visit one of my best friends. I'm going to upload the 3 other finished chapters I have so that I can post them if I have time. I also have quite a few more ideas to write on the plane. I'll be back January 8th so I will try my best to post while I'm away. As always, I appreciate the suggestions. Happy New Year.


	15. Smackdown

Lexie and Rose were both in surgery with Derek and Lexie was standing next to him observing and learning. However, Rose wanted to stand next to him. She bumped Lexie out of the way. Once Lexie realized what happened, she reclaimed her spot. Rose then pushed her out of the way. Lexie, angry at the scrub nurse, grabbed a scalpel and stabbed Rose in the neck.

"Leave my sister's boyfriend alone, bitch," Lexie said, stepping over Rose, now laying on the floor to continue observing the surgery.

---------------------------------------------------------

Short but I love the visual it gives me lol.


	16. Chapter 16

Lexie was carrying two big cups of water very carefully down the hall. Unfortunately, she was paying more attention to the water than who was coming towards her – that person was also not paying attention. They ran smack into each other and Lexie got the water all over Rose.

"You stupid little!!" exclaimed Rose.

"What's wrong?" Lexie asked, "It's just water."

"But I'm meeelting!" cried Rose as she did indeed begin to melt.

Meredith overheard this and dumped some more water on Rose.

"This will help you along."

----------------------------------------------------------------

Again, sorry its so short but the idea is amazing and I love the one who suggested it.


	17. Chapter 17

Cristina found Rose after a surgery.

"Come with me. I want to show you something."

Before Rose could reply, Cristina grabbed her hand and pulled her to the stairwell and up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked.

"You'll see. It's really great," Cristina told her.

They got up to the roof and Cristina took her to the edge of the roof.

"What's so great up here?" Rose wondered.

"Look down!" ordered Cristina and Rose did.

"All I see is someone playing with an etch-a-sketch. No…maybe she's just sitting there. Is she - ."

Rose was cut off as Cristina pushed her off the roof to her death.

As fate or whatever had it, Rose landed on top of Lexie. Rose did indeed break her neck and died but Lexie was already dead. She died from etch-a-sketch poisoning.

Cristina smiled, having completed her mission and went back to work.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Etch-a-sketch poisoning hehehehehehe


	18. Author Note

Hello all. I've been busy with school and work and I haven't had as much time as I've wanted to write. But have no fear, I will continue this series of awesome oneshots. My semester ends in a month and I'm taking spring classes but since GA is starting up again I'm sure the muses will command me to write no matter what.

Please keep an eye out for updates and thanks for reading 


	19. Down the Hole

**I apologize for the long wait. I had a bit of writer's block helped along by being busy with school. Then my laptop died. I got a new one and in Spanish class today one of my muses gave me an idea. Hope you enjoy :D**

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith, Cristina and Izzie were sitting outside the hospital trying to figure out how to get rid of Rose.

"We could throw her off the roof," suggested Cristina.

"Too messy," Meredith replied.

"Yeah," agreed Izzie.

Out of the blue a man wearing dirty overalls approached them.

"I have a really deep hold that would be good for your problem," he told the three doctors.

"Seriously?" asked Meredith, "Where is it?"

The man handed her a sheet of paper with directions and left.

That night, Izzie convinced Rose to go to Joe's with her. They were leaving the hospital when Izzie started leading her to a van.

"We can walk over there," Rose told her.

"I know, I just want to show you something."

When they got close to the van, Meredith jumped out of the shadows and knocked Rose out. Meredith and Izzie got her into the back of the van and Cristina – ready in the driver's seat – drove off.

She followed the directions to the hole, located in the woods outside of Seattle. Once they were there, the three made sure the still unconscious Rose didn't have her cell phone or pager on her and they carried/dragged her though the woods to the inconspicuous hole and dropped her in. Since no one would find it and it was very deep – seemingly almost to China – no one would find Rose. And if they did, who cares, it's only that slutty scrub nurse.


	20. Addison's Visit

So this week's ep was pretty freakin good! I was spazzing all day about it being on.  
There are spoilers in this chapter based on the last ep and the scenes for next week.

--

Addison, after hearing about this Derek and Rose...thing, decided to pay a visit to the Seattle Grace doctors. She saw Derek and ended up meeting Rose - who she thought was just too...unDerek. Addison had lunch with Meredith at Joe's to talk and catch up and that's when she figured out she had to kill Rose. Who else would protect the relationship that gave her ex husband so much happiness?

Addie shared her sudden revelation/plan with Meredith, who didn't object, and set up a diversion for Derek so Addison could get Rose alone. After work, Meredith had Derek look over more information for her Saving Lives project while Addison, who was secretly a ninja, captured Rose, tied her up and tossed her in the Pudget Sound. She got back to Seattle Grace right when Meredith was finishing up with Derek and gave her cohort the thumbs up.

--

I'm not so much for killing Lexie anymore, she's getting pretty cool :D 


	21. Death by Intro to Fiction

I have English 303 – Intro to Fiction Monday and Wednesdays 6:30 to 9:50…perfect way for Rose to die.

--

Trapped in English 303, Rose knew this was going to be similar to the time in Philosophy with Grant. However, this class lasted 3 ½ hours.

The preface didn't seem too bad. Fiction seems like a fun class. But once the professor began going over the short stories Rose soon figured out why she was here.

Halfway through discussing the first short story – paragraph by paragraph – Rose took a small bottle of some poison or other and a syringe and killed herself.


	22. Crazed Ava

Ava, crazed because she was confused as to whether her name was Jane Doe, Ava, Rebecca or Elisabeth, decided to stab to death the first person she came across. Luckily, that was Rose.

Feeling much, much better and less confused she went to say hi to Alex.


	23. A Rose for Emily

I read A Rose for Emily by Faulkner and a long short story short, to keep her boyfriend from leaving her, Emily poisoned him with arsenic and kept him in the house. And now…a play on words

--

Rose found herself in the civil war era house of Emily Grierson in what appeared to be the early 1900s.

"Hello, Rose," Emily said.

"Hi…"replied Rose uneasily, looking to leave.

"Would you like some tea before you leave?" Emily asked.

Rose decided to indulge her. "Sure."

An hour later, Emily had gotten Rose seated in the chair in the living room. Then she went to dumping out the arsenic tea.

Rose would never leave her now.


	24. McRebound

I don't have the exact quote from the episode but it works :D

--

Addison, in the middle of her surgery, asked Dr. Bailey: "So who is the McRebound?"

Dr. Bailey looked at her, shocked.

"What? Are we done with the Mc?" Addison asked.

Bailey smiled beneath her mask. "She is standing directly on your right."

"Oh," Replied Addison, looking at Rose.

Using her scalpel, Addison stabbed Rose in the neck. Rose fell to the ground and another scrub nurse stepped forward to drag Rose out of the way and take her place.

Addison got another scalpel and continued.

"Meredith Grey got my husband and I'll be damned if she doesn't get to keep him."


	25. Doc

Rose was out walking near the woods on Derek's property when a scruffy dog ran up to her.

"Oh hi, sweetie."Rose bent down to pet the dog.

The dog barked at her and moved in the opposite direction, wanting her to follow.

"Ok, I'm coming," Rose said, running after the dog.

After a couple minutes of running, Rose found herself falling.

--

"Doc!" Denny scolded.

Doc simply wagged his shaggy ghost dog tail.

"I know you love Derek and Meredith but that is no reason to have Rose fall to her death."

Doc barked at him to let him know it most certainly was. He still had to protect his owners.


	26. Beward of Coffee

Meredith came up to Rose and handed her a cup of coffee.

"What's this for?" Rose asked.

Meredith shrugged, "I'm just being nice."

"Well, thank you," Rose smiled, going on her way with the coffee.

Cristina came and stood next to Meredith and laughed when Rose fell down dead.

"I really didn't think you'd do it," chuckled Cristina.

"I guess you owe me 50," Meredith replied.


	27. Night at Joes

Lexie, hoping all went according to plan, approached Rose.

"Um, Rose?"

"Dr. Grey, hello," Rose replied with a smile as she looked up from her chart.

"Hi. I was wondering if you were free tonight."

"I am," she told her, "Why?"

"I just wanted to ask you to come to Joe's with a bunch of us."

Rose smiled, "Yeah, that would be great."

--

Cristina handed Rose another shot of Vodka. Rose, completely drunk, drank it all at once.

"How many is that, now?" asked Meredith.

"I think ten or eleven," Cristina replied, "She should be close to dropping."

As if on cue, Rose faceplanted the bar, dead from alcohol poisoning.

"There you go," Cristina announced.

Joe came over to collect the empty glasses.

"I'll take care of her, you guys," he told them, "Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Joe," they both replied.


	28. WTF?

On her day off, Rose went to the beach of a local lake for a swim. She got out in the middle of the lake and floated around on her back enjoying the day.

Something caused her to look to her right where she saw a shark fin in the water.

"What?" she asked herself, "There shouldn't be any sharks here?"

She didn't have any more time to ponder that oddity because she very soon became a snack.


	29. Elevator Mishaps

"Did you hear what happened??" Meredith heard one of her interns ask another.

"No! What?" the other intern questioned.

"That scrub nurse, Rose, fell down the elevator shaft and died."

"No way!" shouted intern two.

"Way," nodded the first, "And apparently Dr. Grey pushed her."

Meredith turned to talk to them.

"While it's," not, "sad about Rose, I didn't push her," but I wish I did. "I was in surgery with Dr. Shepherd with another patient in our clinical trial."

"We were talking about your sister," Intern one told her.

"Oh," Meredith replied, "Well I don't know what she was doing."

Meredith was so thanking Lexie later.


	30. Team Meredith

This idea came from the review from TurnMyGriefToGrace – "I love Addison. I especially love her because she's on Team Meredith."

I love it!

--

An invitation was sent out via text message and pager for everyone to meet in the hospital parking lot after work for the fight. The question of the day was 'what team are you on?' and it seemed like Meredith's team was larger.

Callie took the bullhorn so the crowd could hear her.

"Here's how it works. We separate into the two teams. Team Rose and Team Meredith. The teams are based on who we think should be with Derek and who we just like more overall. The one with the most people on her team wins and the loser is shunned and leaves forever."

Everyone nodded in understanding and Callie told them all to separate.

Izzie, George, Cristina, Mark, Bailey, Callie, Lexie, Addison, and the Chief immediately went to Team Meredith. A lot of the nurses went to Team Rose but some also went to Team Meredith.

Finally it was even on both Teams and just one person was left. Derek.

After an internal debate and the Teams yelling at him to each join their team, he chose one.

"Noooooo!!" yelled Rose. "How could you do this to me!"

"I'm sorry," he told her.

"Team Meredith will always win!"

Rose was then shunned and thrown out of Seattle forever.


	31. Omniscient Revelations

Rose found herself in an all white room (like the one from In Which I Get Rid of Finn, Too) with Derek and Meredith.

"Oh no," Rose groaned, "Not again."

"I like this room," Meredith replied, "Nothing bad happens to me."

"Hello," the mysterious voice greeted.

"Hi?" Derek replied.

"Rose is crazy," the voice told them.

Rose looked at the ceiling. "I am not."

"Only someone who isn't Meredith who sleeps with Derek and thinks he wants a relationship with her has to be crazy."

"You slept with her?" Meredith asked Derek.

"Don't worry, Meredith," the voice reassured her, "He was thinking about you the whole time."

Rose's jaw dropped. "You were?!"

"Uh, yeah," he replied.

"See?" the voice asked, "She's crazy."

A light came down from the sky/ceiling and killed Rose.

"Ok, now you two talk and stuff."

And they did.


	32. Tumor

This is from MerDerAddicted's suggestion that Rose be a patient in the clinic trial. She gets the injection…with a twist! Woot!

--

Meredith and Cristina were sitting in the cafeteria together. Suddenly Cristina spoke.

"Rose is a tumor. She's a malignant tumor."

An almost visible light bulb went off in Meredith's head.

"Thanks, Cristina," she said, running off.

Meredith mixed the virus and hooked it up to a syringe then went to find Rose. She checked the board and saw Rose was in a surgery which should finish soon.

Meredith stood outside the scrub room for the OR Rose was in and waited. Finally, everyone but Rose left. Meredith quietly entered the scrub room, went behind Rose and injected the clinical trial virus into Rose's neck.

"Wha?" Rose asked, feeling the needle go in.

"I can get rid of malignant tumors," Meredith told her right before the virus flooded Rose's entire system and killed her.


	33. Bzzzt

.oxox suggested this one. Hope you like it. I have one more chapter after this one.

--

The computer at the nurses' station was broken and Rose decided to fix it. Try to fix it anyway.

She was sitting on the floor with the computer attempting to fix it. She found two colored wires and plugged them both in at once and electrocuted herself in the process.

Olivia looked at the fried Rose.

"Hey, someone call Geek Squad. The computer killed Rose and it's still not fixed."


	34. Rabid Squirrel

This is the final installment of The Death of Lexie and Rose. I have very much enjoyed writing the many ways in which to kill Rose (I like Lexie now so we're cool). It was very therapeutic and helped with that bit of temporary insanity Derek had. Thank you all for your reviews and suggestions and thanks for reading. Here's the final chapter. Enjoy.

However, if there are any more suggestions I would be more than happy to write them for you but as of now, this series of one shots is complete.

--

Rose was sitting on a bench outside the hospital when she was approached by an odd squirrel. The squirrel hopped up on the bench, sneakily moved closer, bit her finger and ran off.

"Ow!" exclaimed Rose, examining her now bleeding finger.

George ran up to her.

"Have you see a squirrel with rabies?" he asked, "He randomly bites people."

"He has rabies?!" she yelled.

"Yeah, I'm trying to catch him," George told her.

"He bit me!" she cried, "I have rabies now?!"

"Aw, yeah. Hang on." George took out a stamp and stamped her hand. "You have 30 seconds to live. Which way did he go?"

Rose pointed in the direction the squirrel went. "30 seconds?! How does rabies kill you that quickly? That's ab -."

George sighed in relief when she fell down dead. Her voice was going to make him kill her himself.

He took out a walkie-talkie – "Meredith, do you have the squirrel?"

"Yeah," Meredith radioed back, "Is Rose taken care of?"

"Yep," George replied, "Finally."


	35. Steamrolled

Ok so Rose is in Peds now and MerDer is yay but I can't help it. This chapter is from halfbakedsourdough's review in November. It took me a while to write…. Enjoy!!

As usual, suggestions are welcome even if we don't need to kill Rose anymore.

----------------------

Rose was sitting on the curb watching the Thanksgiving Day parade in downtown Seattle. The people on the floats had been tossing candy into the crowd. Rose wasn't interested in any of that candy, but then a rainbow float came by. The clowns on the float were wearing bright orange Speedos and they were throwing licorice. She ran into the street to grab the licorice nearest to here and was immediately pooped on by a horse. As she was turned around to give that horse a piece of her mind, she was run over by a rogue steam roller. Not only was she dead, but she smelled like horse poop, too. Ok, so she didn't really smell any differently.


	36. Izzie takes down Teddy

Hello readers! I know it says The Death of Lexie and Rose but I'm adding Teddy into the mix. She's a great doctor but she's screwing up my Cristina/Owen ness. We can't have that! Nothing against Shonda or the writers, I just need to let out my frustrations.

Enjoy!!

Izzie had been in contact with Cristina. She heard about the new cardio god Owen got her as a present. The cardio god who turned out to be in love with Owen. Well we just couldn't have that.

Cristina saved Izzie's life. Izzie had to repay her. Since Izzie had grown up in a trailer park, she learned a few things about taking down girls who wanted friend's boyfriends.

Izzie waited. She waited outside in the shadows for Teddy to leave for the night. Once Teddy was alone, Izzie made sure no one was around, followed Teddy and when she was close enough, tapped her on the shoulder.

Teddy turned around. "Hello…"

"You mess with Cristina, you mess with me," Izzie said, then stabbed the cardio god in the eye with an icicle.

Once finished, Izzie called Cristina to let her know the mission was accomplished and began the search for a better cardio god.


	37. Rose Snaps

There were 51 visitors to the first installment of killing Teddy. No reviews but 51 hits. That's some encouragement. Anywho, I have another way to get rid of Teddy.

"So this one time in Iraq, the guys were getting stressed so Hunt figured out a way to play football," Teddy was explaining to whoever was around her.

Rose, even though she had switched surgery services, had heard way too much of this. Everyday Teddy would just talk about Owen. Rose had had enough. She respected Hut and she was sure he was a great guy but Teddy was getting annoying. Seriously annoying.

Rose snapped. She grabbed a scalpel and stabbed Teddy in the chest to just shut her up! Once she came down her from rage she realized what she did. However everyone applauded her for getting rid of the annoying blonde.

Reviews are appreciated. Also, suggestions for ways in which I can kill Teddy are appreciated as well.

Thanks for reading.


	38. Badass Army Ninja

Between posting the last chapter and now I have fallen in love with Teddy. She's pretty awesome and Kim Raver rocks.

This chapter is for Pheebs who also loves the badass army ninja.

Thanks to Sara for betaing.

There were a few things Teddy learned in the army. One of them was how to be a badass army ninja. She was badass all the time, clearly, but her army ninja skills were about to be put to use.

Her target was Lexie Grey.

Lexie was her McSteamy boyfriend's ex and she could tell the brunette turned blonde resident was still a problem for him – not a big problem any more but still a problem. There was only one thing she could do.

Teddy dressed up in her badass army ninja outfit – it was black camo. The camo, even though it was all black, was what made it an army ninja outfit. She tied her hair back into a ponytail, put on her black camo but really just black head and face cover so that only her eyes were showing, took her ninja back and left.

The badass army ninja snuck into Lexie's room and waited. Soon enough her target entered. Teddy, in a badass army ninja manner, whipped out her plastic spoon and cup of poisonous chocolate pudding. Using the spoon, she flung to poisonous pudding into Lexie's eyes where it would soon kill her whether she got it out of her eyes our not.

Lexie fell to the floor, shouting about how it wasn't nice to throw pudding in people's eyes. Teddy left the pudding cup, packed up her plastic spoon and snuck back out of the house then headed to her McSteamy boyfriend's apartment.


	39. In Which I Kill Andrew Perkins

I love Andrew Perkins but I was pissed off that he made Teddy cry.

Phoebe betaed :D

Phoebe, Andrea and Aly waited in the shadows outside the hotel for Andrew Perkins. He'd be there soon.

"Are you sure this will work?" Andrea asked again.

Phoebe nodded. "Of course it will. And no one will know. "

"Then we can get ice cream, right?" clarified Aly.

"Mmm ice cream." Andrea smiled.

"Yes." Phoebe nodded. "Ice cream afterwards."

They finally caught sight of Andrew. He was heading towards them without realizing it. Closer, closer, and without warning three girls jumped out and grabbed him.

Aly tied up his legs and Phoebe tied his hands while Andrea held him down. Once he was secure, the unusually strong girls got the trauma guy into their borrowed creeper van and Phoebe got into the driver's seat. Aly and Andrea hopped in next to her.

"Where are you taking me?" Andrew asked as Phoebe started driving.

"We're going to feed you to the Puget Sound whale," Andrea told him.

"There's no whale in Puget Sound."

Aly grinned. "There is now."

Phoebe drove the borrowed creeper van to the water where they told the whale to meet them.

The whale was a little late but he got there shortly after Aly, Andrea, and Phoebe arrived, apologizing for his tardiness.

The whale opened his mouth and the unusually strong girls threw Andrew in.

They watched the whale swim away.

"Now we just have to get rid of Lexie." Aly smiled.

"But first, ice cream," grinned Phoebe.

She then drove them all in the borrowed creeper van to the nearest Dairy Queen.


End file.
